here is my corner~~

just finished one of my kille subject. though it din make me helpless, it make me confused. adui.. damn!! not sure of every single code i write.. die mai die lo.. nvr die before meh?(memang never la).. i don wan to die~~ huhuhu..

another 2 to go.. in one week time. haiz.. bu shuang my roomie and cj dy finish.. n i am d LAST.. till 5.30pm sommore.. huhuhu.. so bu shuang as all my frens can enjoy holiday earlier than me... pity me.. going for the war alone.. but nevermind la... i will enjoy ONCE my exam finish!! pps.. wakaka..

erm.. going back n 30th nov(mumy miss me lotssss dy). b4 dat will go gong chiao wif bro n sis in our church to spread the gospel there.. pray hard for us yeah~~ looking forward to go thr..as i can play n laugh n eat n enjoy wif the bro n sis.. wakaka...thy are all soooo super duper funny..
let me see how to analyse them..

erm.. oldest de is d most most caring de.. then come to d most most most most most pandai makan.. nxt is one that pandai cari makan, pandai muzik a lotsss... thn is the one that shuang shuang make u laugh wif his shaung shuang de talking.. then come to d funniest bro i had ever see.. cnt stop laughing once u wif him.. wakak.. terror in music oso.. nxt, is a sister that can play music as well.. wa.. everyone so geng in music de.. thn.. is a xiao za bo d roomie.. hahaha.. learn all d ki xiao thing from her roomate.. thn comes to my roomate.. that can onli find her during midnite.. she is so awake in midnight.. thn is our two little cute junior.. one is terror in piaono n one got a ver sweeet sound.. haha.. thn comes me lo.. wakaka.. dono gto left out who..


actually this post is a rubbish lo.. jz feel nothing to do in irc.. so write somethign here.. going to prepare myself for d war now~~ bb

just wana to ask myself stop thinking about it and continue to do what is mine!!

thanks for hiding from me as you afraid of my request?? hurt me?? hehe.. just..

don have such feeling!~~ there sure be another things for you~~

n.. i m missing somebody~

just finish a small small sharing with a senior of mine. i cant deny that, he is a good and caring guy, which make me totally honest infront of him. yeah.. i tell him the things that kept in my heard for 3 semesters.. which i try to keep it deep inside my heart. i dont want to think of it, dont even want to accept it. i just keep on lying, it is ok.

but, i know, it is always there, wondering me, and make me afraid of... yeah~~ i keep too much in my heart, as i can see so much and feel so much. i know what is happening easily, i know what others feel and what others want easily.. i am too sensitive, and... i kept all (both positive and negative) inside me.. i dont know who to tell, dont know who to share, except the father in the heaven.

today, i tell my brother, hehe.. although only one of my feeling, but it is the one bother me a lot, the major thing stop me from doing job. maybe i had not much faith in it, till i can easily be distracted, but i cannot stand it. i wonder, why others dont have such feeling but i have? wonder, why they dont feel like this? wonder, am i the cause of the problem, since i the one that feel such way. but, finally i know, many are also feel the same as me, just they are not as sensitive as me and they are as sabar as me. they just keep quiet and... let it all be like that.

i feel desperate. i cant imagine the semesters after the 2 brothers left. i may be suffering, i may be left, or i may be stand stronger in christ. who knows? hehe.. i dont know i can or not, but i know now i cant. u cannot say you want to have a talk with me. i am not the one that can express my feeling by talking, i am by words. maybe because of that, no one understand me, but i get used of it.

sometimes i wish, i can be a nomal one(sorry god)..... yeah.. i am crying, for the very first time this sem. why it must happen everytime before exams? god..........i feel lonely n tired liao.. i wan go home..

sometimes,
i wonder,
why i start my post with sometimes.
am i so un-creative?
till i don't know what to write?

sometimes,
i wonder,
why i emo so much.
am i so useless,
till don't know how to handle my emotions?

sometimes,
i wonder,
why i am so lazy.
am i so indiscipline,
till i have to push everything to the end.

sometimes,
i wonder,
why am i on the earth.
i am so not worth,
and i am so uncapable and tired,
till i really want to give up.

everytimes,
when i am emo-ing,
i hide it,
in my heart,
because i don't know who to express to.

no one seems understand me,
and no one seems willing to know me.
everyone so busy with their daily stuffs,
till no time to observe the surrounding.

this is really a long journey~~....
and i had find my way to HOME.

i like rainssss.
wind blows before its going to rain, even the sun rest earlier just to give way to the preparation of raining. i like it. nice weather, before and during and after the rain. it is no need for me to use umbrella.. (hehe)

it is raining. brother wind continue to blow, daddy sun and mummy moon sleep soundly behind the aunt clouds. the sky, seems so pretty with the grey-ish colour, with some decoration sponsored by uncle lightning. the lightning is just nice. it will not make me tan, neither pain my eyes nor hurt my skin. credits to uncle lightning. just somehow, that stupid ah pek storm scream like crazy man. it scared me all the time, and, i really hate it. it spoils all the peace and the whole picture. fortunately it miss the screaming time sometimes. haha...

the water//rain droplets drop one by one, in a nice manner, to the ground. they must be enjoy the journey. it is like roller coaster, that never know how to move upwards. all the droplets pour down, smoothly to the ground, and unite at the ground. wonder if they communicate within each other before they reach their destiny, wonder if they miss their friends when they were separated, wonder, if they feel nervous when they are moving in high speed, wonder, they feel pain when they hit on the ground, wonder, if they cry as human when... they are force to say bye bye.

yeah~~i love rain. just simply love it. i seldom fall asleep when it is raining. i dint want to miss any raining moment. i enjoy myself looking at the sky, exploring where the sun and moon should shelter themselves of, imagining what the droplets do when the are moving down. am i ki siao? waste my time imagining useless things? i don care! haha! as long as i like it.

after rain, all the droplets, become water, continue their second phase of journey in somewhere, and little fresh air appear to cool the earth up. it is as if, a new moment for me. everything before, either sad or bad or dirty or angry or disgusting... had all wipe by the rain, and the air come, to refresh my mind and my thinking, and... tell myself gently.. it is a brand new life...